Today I kind of overdid something. I purchased myself a new cellphone from my local Walmart. I have never spent over $30 or $35 for a cellphone before let alone a prepaid cellphone and now I'm feeling kind of guilty about it. I spent $79 on this phone and love it. It's a Samsung galaxy a10e which I find to be a good phone personally. I never spend much money on myself I pay the bills even though other people are using my stuff.

I'm normally stuck paying for everything myself so today I bought myself a new cellphone. And I bought some paint for my middle bedroom so I and my cousin can start painting sometime this weekend hopefully.

I hate feeling guilty about buying myself something new. But yet most of my life I have been putting everyone else first. I don't have a boyfriend or husband or even children. And yet I keep putting everyone else first even after the bills are paid I make sure everyone else has what they need before I even get myself a pair of new shoes.

So this month I thought about myself first and my aunt Sandy told me she would never have spent that much money on a cellphone. But yet every few months she spends 50 dollars or more on Xbox games for her kids. Or on gaming cards for her kids. She was making me feel guilty over nothing. And I still feel guilty about it.

The thing bout me is I need to worry about myself and not feel guilty just because people try to make me feel that way. After all, it's my money, not theirs if I want to buy myself a new cellphone I should not feel bad about it.

So here is what I need to start doing I need to stop feeling guilty for what I want or what I think I deserve.

If you think you only deserve trash and hand me downs that is all you will ever have in life. If you think you deserve more and work for more you will have more and better. It's all about how you feel about yourself.